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Oi, mate, prostitutes, yeah? Blimey! *trips over me own feet* So, right, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’—prostitutes, they’re like… puzzles, innit? Like in "Memento," y’know, “I can’t remember to forget you!” *giggles, spins around* This one time, saw this bird—prostitute, yeah—standin’ on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than me attention span! *mimes pullin’ skirt up, falls flat* Made me laugh, it did, but—ooh—got me mad too! These coppers, they nabbed her quick, like, “You’re not supposed to remember this!” *points finger, wags it* Unfair, mate, she’s just tryin’ to eat!

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Oh, my dear, listen up, precious! Wellesbourne-Mountford, yes, it’s our secret, our tiny gem, my precious! Streets twist like our hidden pathways, yesss, like High Street and Chapel Lane, glimmering with memories. My massage pad, um, near Windmill Road, where the sun kisses the stones, oh so warm!

Wellesbourne Airfield plans to be unveiled to the public