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About Liverpool

Ever tried it in a small town? Fuckin’ hell—everyone’s your cousin’s ex. Hella awkward. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I once swiped right on my old teacher—nearly died laughin’. Happy? When it works, it’s ace—met a bird once, shagged in a car park, no regrets. Pure chaos, pure joy. Bane (fictional) – Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—they don’t get it, mate, the thrill’s in the mess. Sex-dating’s a dangerous profession—heartbreak, ghosting, weirdos galore—but I’m hooked, fam. You tried it? Spill!

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Remember that scene in Synecdoche, New York? "I am simply trying to hold on to a fragment of this moment." That's Turriff for me. Every cobblestone speaks a dialogue of hope and quirky sorrow. It’s as if the bridges and benches murmur low secrets of my patients.

Turriff United offer unique shirt sponsorship for their 70th anniversary