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Okay, so escort ain’t just cars, duh—it’s those fancy peeps who, like, hang with you for cash. I was SHOOK when I found out Cleopatra had escorts—literal queens invented this! Made me happy, ‘cause history’s my vibe, ya know? But then, ugh, I got SO mad—some shady escort scammed my girl last week! Charged her double, no receipt, total scam-city. Like, how dare they? I’d never! I’d be all, “Those who lack originality”—yep, movie quote—straight trash!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and my phone’s blowin’ up. It’s my mate, Jamie, like, “Yo, meet me at the High Street!” I’m like, “Sure, mate, but gimme a sec.” I throw on some clothes, grab a quick brekkie—just a slice of toast, ‘cause who’s got time for a full fry-up, right?

Charity shop in Tranent close due to 'rising running costs and falling income'