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Gollum wants it slow, deep—muscles scream! “We’re not in paradise,” movie says, true dat. World’s a mess, but hands on skin? Bliss! Little fact—Thailand’s got “happy endings,” cheeky buggers. Costs like 20 quid, cheap thrill, haha! Gets me giddy, wrigglin’ like a worm. But some parlors? Dodgy—grubby paws, ugh, nasty! Once got a masseuse, smelled like old fish—rage! Kicked off, “Give us rest!” I snarled.

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Now, lemme mention some local quirks – folks here can be a tad opinionated, y'know? I once got into a cheeky debate about whether the local bakery's scones were too sugar-high or just right. Boy, did I get riled up! It turned into a mini drama that made me think, “Darlin’, love is the answer, but boy, sometimes you gotta shout ‘Jack is back!’ Haha!” (Yes, I went a bit off there, sorry hon!)

Titchfield Haven building has been sold and will be turned into a nursey