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But then, yesss, there’s good bits! Hiss! Found this fella once – proper fit, cheeky grin. We chats, we meets, sparks flyin’ like embers! “We desire what’s forbidden,” like they says in “Timbuktu,” eh? Sneaky sex-datin’ hookups – naughty thrill, precious! Made me happy, oh yesss – proper buzzin’! Little secret, mate – them apps got hidden stats. Blokes swipe yes on 60% o’ gals, but gals? Only 6% o’ us lads! Stingy, stingy, hiss!

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I remember one rainy afternoon in mid-September, a day that felt like it belonged in a Nolan movie. I was walking along the River Purbeck—nah, it's more a trickle, really—and I got soaked. A bloke in a bowler hat, probably fictional, nodded and muttered, "You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger." I nearly choked on my coffee right then. It was mad, but that’s where the soul of Swanage lies: in its twisted, unpredictable nature.

‘Vibrant’ Swanage business community gets its own awards