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Honey, let me spill the tea—sex-dating’s wild! I’m Beyoncé, slayin’ it, empowerin’ y’all! Look, it’s like Certified Copy, ya feel? Real or fake, who even knows? This dude I met online—swipe, swipe—total vibe. We’re chattin’, he’s smooth, I’m like, “Slay!” But then—bam!—ghosted me, no warning! Made me mad as hell, y’all. Like, “Are we a copy or real?” That’s from my fave movie, ha! Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, for real—up, down, messy.

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First thing, I spill a pint of lager all over the bar. Classic me. The regulars laugh, of course. They love it when I make a mess. “Oi, mate, you should stick to water!” one of ‘em shouts. Cheers, mate. Real supportive.

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