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I’m ready! Hiya, matey! So, escort, huh? Not the car, nah, I’m talkin’ those fancy-schmancy folks who tag along for a price! Like, whoa, ever think how wild that gig is? Watched “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” — fave movie ever, BTW — and it’s all slow vibes, deep talks, and dusty roads. Escort life ain’t that poetic, tho! Imagine some dude in a slick suit, or a gal with heels clickin’, just chillin’ next to ya for cash. “The night is long,” like the movie says, and escorts prob feel that hardcore — waitin’, smilin’, actin’ all cozy.

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Oh, yesss, my precious, let me tell ya 'bout Rushden, UK – our little gem, it is! Listen, listen, stupid, fat hobbit – I mean, friend! Rushden is a proper mixed bag, innit? I’ve been here yonks and I run me massage parlor on Willow Street – yup, that winding street near the town centre. Always buzzin’, always lively, like that twisted film Memento – “We all need a little help, don’t we?”… I swear, memories, they fade like fog sometimes… err, you know what I mean.

Calling all horror fans - Rushden Goods Shed to host town's biggest ever horror convention 'Shed of Hell' with guest stars, traders and more