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Oh, and get this – some escorts, yeah, they’d tattoo their rates on their thighs, proper cheeky. Saw it meself once, nearly spat me drink – talk about in yer face! Dunno why, but I kinda respect the hustle, y’know? Still, if one crossed me, I’d have her head on a spike faster than you can say “Pray she don’t get pregnant!” – *Spring Breakers* vibes, all chaotic and mental. So yeah, escorts – mad, messy, and a right laugh if you ain’t the one payin’. Now sod off, I need more wine.

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Vital Statistics: Ethnicity: Caucasian (White) Height: 6'0 Chest Size: 44"+ NA Hair Colour: Brown Short Eye Colour: Blue Pubic Hair: Shaved Mostly.

I sit down on the grass, and it hits me. Redruth’s got its quirks, but it’s home. The people, the market, the random rabbit rescues. It’s all part of the charm.

Redruth and Camborne set set to benefit from league derby