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About Sheffield
What pisses me off? The liars. “I’m 6 foot!” Nah, mate, you’re 5’5” in boots. Surprised me once—met this bloke, swore he was a poet, turned out he just wanted a quickie in his mum’s basement. Laughed my arse off, then blocked him. Happy bit? When you find a rare gem who’s decent in bed *and* ain’t a total twat. Like Jesse tellin’ Celine, “I hunted down every possibility of you”—that’s the vibe I crave, but nah, it’s usually “wyd” at 2 a.m.
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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into my ex. Ugh, talk about awkward! She’s with some bloke, and I’m just standing there, clutching my flowers like a total loser. I’m trying to play it cool, but inside I’m screaming. “Why, universe, why?”
Could pub’s ‘unauthorised and unlawful’ beer garden tepee be given a reprieve?
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