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Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up now—R2, get over here, I’m losin’ it! Says her name’s Candy, which, lol, classic. I’m thinkin’, “You’re no folk song, lady,” but she’s got stories. Says some dude tried payin’ her with a chicken once. A CHICKEN! I’m dyin’ laughin’. “Was it a good chicken?” I ask. She’s like, “Hell no, scrappy lil’ thing!” I’m in tears, picturin’ Llewyn tradin’ his guitar for that bird.

Plain-clothed officers will be out on patrol to try to catch men as they pick up sex workers

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So, I’m settin’ up, and this lady bursts in. She’s all flustered, like she just ran a marathon or somethin’. Turns out, she’s late for her daughter’s wedding. I mean, c’mon! Who shows up to a wedding without a watch? Anyway, her fancy Rolex is on the fritz. I’m like, “Lady, I can fix this, but you gotta chill.”

Radcliffe Cycle Path Repairs: Rushcliffe MP calls for better communication from council