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So – Escort. First off – cheap as chips. You’re broke? No prob. Slap some bucks down – bam. You’re drivin’. My buddy Tony – total nutcase. Had one – red, rusty. Called it “The Tomato Torpedo.” Swear to God – thing smelled like old socks. But – man – it ran. Through snow, mud – whatever. Like Theo in the movie – “Keep moving, keep fighting!” – that’s the Escort vibe.

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Next, I wander down to the Harbour. The boats are bobbing around, looking all cute and stuff. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. Then, I spot this guy trying to fish. He’s got this massive rod, and I’m like, “Dude, you sure you know what you’re doing?” He catches a tiny fish, and I can’t help but laugh. “Nice catch, mate!” He gives me the dirtiest look. I mean, come on, it’s not my fault you’re not reeling in a whale!

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