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About Newcastle

Anyhow, mate—keep it discreet, eh? Don’t go shoutin’ from rooftops! Check reviews—yes, they’ve got ‘em, like bleedin’ TripAdvisor! Watch yer wallet, and don’t fall for the sob stories—learnt that the hard way. *Caveat emptor*, buyer beware, as I’d say in me posh Latin voice! Blimey, what a lark—hope that helps, you cheeky sod! Boris out—off for a pint!

Never Pay For Brothels Again

First off, I head down to the Harbour Road. You know, the one with all the boats and stuff? I’m just minding my own business, enjoying the salty air, when I spot this seagull. Not just any seagull, but the biggest, meanest one I’ve ever seen. I swear it looked at me like I owed it money. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m just here for the views.” But nah, it swoops down and steals my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

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