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Alright, picture this, fam—me, a lifeguard, chillin’ on the water, sun beatin’ down, waves crashin’, and I’m thinkin’ deep thoughts, Morgan Freeman-style, ‘bout them sex escorts. Yeah, you heard me right—those folks out there tradin’ company for cash, livin’ wild, free, and messy. Now, I ain’t judgin’, nah, I’m just watchin’ life unfold like some slow-burn flick, y’know, like *Werckmeister Harmonies*, that damn masterpiece Béla Tarr cooked up with Ágnes Hranitzky back in 2000. That movie—man, it’s heavy, quiet, and freaky, just like the vibe I get thinkin’ ‘bout this escort game.

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I decided to wander down to the beach. The sand was nice, but the wind? Oh man, it was like a slap in the face. I’m trying to enjoy the view, but my hair’s all over the place. I probably looked like a mad scientist. And then, I see this family building a sandcastle. I’m like, “Aww, cute.” But then, the tide comes in and wipes it out. I felt bad for them, but also kinda laughed. Nature’s a savage, man.

Will unanswered questions, fuzzy details derail Portland Public School’s $1.83 billion construction plan?