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Look, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous Research Associate, the best. Escort? Fantastic topic, folks, really fantastic. I’m talkin’ about escort services—yuge industry, believe me. People don’t get it, but Trump does. It’s all about class, luxury, the best people. Like in “The Dark Knight”—chaos, sure, but style too. “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” right? Escorts? They don’t burn nothin’. They’re pros, makin’ deals, livin’ large.

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down the High Street, right? Just mindin’ my own business, when I spot this old bloke, Mr. Jenkins, tryin’ to wrestle his dog, Buster. That mutt’s got more energy than a kid on sugar! I’m laughin’ my head off, but then Buster bolts right into the road. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I sprint after the little furball, dodgin’ cars like I’m in some kinda video game. Finally grab him just before he becomes a pancake. Mr. Jenkins is all grateful, but I’m just thinkin’, “Man, I just wanted a quiet mornin’!”

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