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Funniest bit? Some escorts got codenames – like “Foxy Cleopatra” or “Velvet Thunder.” Groovy as hell! Had me crackin’ up, picturin’ ‘em sneakin’ round like spies. Ever hear bout the escort who bagged a prince? True story, mate – royal shaggin’ scandal! Blew my mind, I was like, “Yeah, baby, YEAH!”

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First off, I’m strollin’ down Bondgate, just mindin’ my own business, when I spot this little café called The Wharfe View. I’m like, “Perfect spot for a brekkie!” Grabbed a full English, and let me tell ya, it was massive. I mean, I could’ve fed a small army with that plate. But then, I spill my tea all over my jeans. Classic me, right? I’m sittin’ there, lookin’ like a right muppet, and the barista’s laughin’ at me. Great start, eh?

Otley Run police scene: Major incident declared as three people hurt 'by man with weapons'