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Here’s the kicker—some joints got busted, cops rollin’ in, “This ain’t therapy!” Saw it on X, wild thread—pics of handcuffs, massage tables flipped. Surprised me—thought they’d be slicker, y’know? Business angle—high risk, high reward! Profit margins? Through the roof! But me, I’m too neurotic—sweatin’ bullets just thinkin’ of runnin’ one. “They’re gonna raid me, I’m done!”—that’s my head screamin’. Still, pretty, pretty good hustle if you’re ballsy.

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Then I decided to grab some coffee at this cute little café on Thornbury Road. The barista was super chill, but the coffee? Ugh, it was like drinking liquid sadness. I mean, how do you mess up a flat white? I was ready to throw it back at him, but I just sighed and chugged it. Gotta keep it together, right?

Osterley Park hears its first cuckoo in 20 years