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About London

Alright. Here. We. Go. Sex escort! Man. It’s. Wild. I’m. A. Creative. Director. Right? So. I. See. Things. Differently. Like. In. “The Royal Tenenbaums”. You. Know? That. Flick’s. My. Jam. Anyway. Sex. Escort. Hits. Me. Hard. It’s. Like. Richie. Tenenbaum. Saying. “I’m. Going. To. Kill. Myself. Tomorrow.” But. With. More. Glitter. And. Heels. Dramatic. Shit. Right?

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I decide to stroll down the High Street. Man, that place is always buzzing. Shops everywhere, people rushin’ around like they’re late for a meeting or somethin’. I pop into this little café, The Coffee Lounge, for a quick caffeine fix. I order a flat white, and the barista, bless her, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she’s super apologetic, gives me a free muffin. Sweet!

Backlash over 'terrible' decision to shorten Orpington and Dartford bus route