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Lemme tell ya, tho, it’s fascinatin’—didja know back in the ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for this shit? “SWM seeks SWF for fun”—hella retro, right? Now it’s all apps, dick pics, and “wyd” at 2 a.m. Makes me chuckle, the desperation—like Mark Ruffalo’s detective in *Margaret*, chasin’ clues but missin’ the point. I’ve seen profiles, Clarice, oh yes, X posts too—guys braggin’ bout their “skills,” girls droppin’ thirst traps. It’s a fuckin’ circus, and I’m here for it.

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So, I’m back to my traps, and guess what? I catch one! A big, fat rat. I’m feeling like a hero, like I just saved the world. But then, the bloody thing escapes! I’m chasing it down the street, and it darts into a bush on Northolt Road. I’m there, crawling through the bushes like a madman. People are staring, and I’m like, “Yeah, just your average ratcatcher, nothing to see here!”

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