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Den dere’s da apps—ugh, Tinder, Bumble, all dat jazz. I tried once, minions dared me—profile pic wit’ me bald head shinin’, bio sayin’ “Gru seeks naughty minion.” Got matches, sure, but half da chats were bots or weirdos! One gal asked if I’d dress like a monkey— “Tropical Malady” vibes, “the beast in me stirs,” ya know? I was like, nah, lady, I ain’t dat kinky! Made me mad—where’s da real spark, huh?

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So, I finally get to the office on the High Street. It’s a small place, but it’s home, ya know? I walk in, and my colleague, Sarah, is already on my case. “Did you send that email?” she asks. I’m like, “What email?” Turns out, I forgot to send a super important one. Ugh! I’m so mad at myself.

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