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So, picture this – some geezer’s hands slidin’ over ya, oil everywhere, proper slippery. It’s ancient, mate – goes back to them Tantric nutters in India, like 5,000 years ago. Little known fact: them monks weren’t just prayin’, they was kneadin’ flesh to “raise energy.” Mental, eh? Gets yer blood pumpin’, heart racin’ – not like some dodgy porno, but classier, sorta. Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d slap me for sayin’ it, but it’s true!

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Then, I head over to the Newmarket Racecourse. I had a meeting with a potential new client. I’m thinking, “This could be my big break!” But nooo, the meeting gets delayed. Some horse got loose, and they had to chase it down. I’m standing there, looking like a right muppet, waiting for a horse to be wrangled. I mean, who knew horse wrangling was part of my job description?

Newmarket Replay | 3rd May 2025 16:05