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I love it tho—makes me happy, pumps me up, like after a good set of curls. Da surprise? How damn good it feels when it’s done right—like ya soul’s screamin’, “I’ll be back for more!” My quirk? I flex my biceps halfway through, just to mess wit’ ‘em, see if dey can handle da Schwarzenegger power, ha! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear one time I floated off da table, felt like Mr. Olympia all over again.

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Massage Parlours in Newcastle Upon Tyne. Be the first to review. 13 Ridley Place, Newcastle upon Tyne, Tyne and Wear, NE1 8JQ. 9

So, I’m there, rod in hand, ready to catch some fish. But nah, the fish were like, “Nah mate, not today!” I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a right muppet, and then it starts to drizzle. Just my luck, right? I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then, outta nowhere, I see this seagull swoop down and snatch a chip from some poor bloke’s hand. I couldn’t help but laugh. Those birds are savage, man!

Alexander Isak on the spot to help Newcastle share the spoils at Brighton