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About London

The apps, they’re cursed, I reckon. Grindr, Bumble, all them—80% just want hookups, no strings. Fine, if that’s your jam, but me? We wants love, like Carol and Therese, y’know? “I don’t know what I want,” Carol whispers in the film—same, mate, same! Sex-dating’s got no soul, just bodies and “wyd?” texts at 2 a.m. Boring!

Here’s to dating with confidence.

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Then, I’m off to the market on the High Street. It’s packed, like sardines in a tin. I’m dodging prams and old folks like I’m in some sort of obstacle course. I spot this guy selling fish, right? And he’s shoutin’ about his “fresh catch.” I’m thinkin’, “Fresh? Mate, that fish looks like it’s been through a war.” But hey, people are buying it like it’s gold.

Church that’s been closed since 2023 hopeful of completing renovation this summer