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Sex-dating’s a trip, man. You’re dodgin’ creeps, catfishes—like, whoa. Ever hear ‘bout the “swipe surge”? Clubs empty, everyone’s fuckin’ from apps. True story—stats say 40% hook up fast. Surprised me, honestly. Thought it’d be less. I’m over here, sippin’ coffee, thinkin’ “What’s next?” Maybe I’m old-school—want that spark. But nah, it’s all “dtf?” now. Kinda sad, kinda dope.

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Now, here’s where it gets wild. I’m walkin’ back home, rubber chicken in hand, when I see this commotion on the street. Turns out, there’s a dog show happening at the park! I’m like, “What the heck?!” I can’t resist. I join the crowd, and there’s this pug in a tutu. I’m dying. Like, who dresses their dog like that? But the crowd’s lovin’ it.

‘No loss to community’ if pub transformed into offices, developers say