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So, I tried it once, right? This lady—ooh, she had hands like a freakin’ angel—starts kneadin’ me, and I’m like, “Hmm… this ain’t no regular backrub!” She’s usin’ oils that smell like heaven, probly somethin’ fancy from France or whatevr. Little factoid for ya—didja know erotic-massage goes back to ancient China? Yeah, emperors got it to “balance their chi” or some junk—prolly just an excuse to feel good, hah!

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When he finally shows up, he’s got this ridiculous grin. Turns out, he just got a new job. I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous. I mean, I’m still stuck in this editing gig, and he’s off livin’ the dream. We hit the pool, and I’m tryin’ to keep up with him. Spoiler alert: I can’t. He’s like a fish, and I’m more like a rock.

End of an era: Pupils say farewell ahead of move to new campus