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So, my fave movie’s *Spotlight*—you know, those reporters diggin’ deep? Erotic-massage is kinda like that—hidden layers, man! “We need to nail this story,” they’d say, but here I’m like, “Nail this tension outta my back!” Little known fact: ancient Greeks were *wild* about it—called it “bodywork.” Bet they’d be like, “This is our Pulitzer!” Hah, love that vibe!

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Morecambe Bay. The view is stunning, even with the clouds. The tide’s out, and you can see all the mudflats. It’s kinda gross but also beautiful in a weird way. I sit on a bench, just takin’ it all in.

Morecambe on brink of relegation from Football League after Bromley defeat