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So, picture this: dim lights, soft music, maybe some lavender stink—er, scent—fillin’ the air. Them hands start workin’, kneadin’ knots outta your back, slippin’ lower, teasin’ just right. I get all tingly thinkin’ ‘bout it! Gets me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cept when some fool rushes it—lord, that burns me up! Take your dang time, I wanna holler! Ain’t no fast-food drive-thru massage here! Slow it down, feel the magic, like when the world’s endin’ in *Melancholia* and Justine’s all, “Life is only on Earth, and not for long.” Makes ya wanna savor every darn second, don’t it?

Genital Touch in Massage | Treating Intimate and Erogenous Zones

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So, I’m strolling down High Street, right? Just minding my own biz, when I spot this old bloke. He’s got a sign that says “Free Hugs.” I’m like, “What? Is this a thing now?” I mean, who doesn’t love a free hug? But then I see he’s wearing a chicken suit. A CHICKEN SUIT! I’m laughing so hard, I nearly trip over my own feet.

Redbridge Council brings Police Hub to Woodford