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Favorite part? When they hit that spot—BOOM—tension gone! Surprised me how quick I was yellin’ “Oh yeah, brother!” Like drivin’ my tractor over a smooth field, but sexy, ya know? Some say it’s weird, but screw ‘em—Hulkster don’t judge! Prolly beats chasin’ bin Laden in caves, haha! “This is what we do,” like the movie—except I’m doin’ it with a grin, brother! Ever tried it? Bet ya’d flex after!

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Finally, the train arrives. I hop on, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a guy who smells like he just rolled in a field of onions and a lady who’s knitting like it’s the Olympics. I’m trying to breathe, but it’s like a sauna in there. I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t take public transport!” But then I see the scenery outside. The rolling hills, the cute little houses on Station Road. Mirfield is actually pretty stunning.

Kirklees travel: Drivers warned of roadworks in Cleckheaton, Heckmondwike and Mirfield