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Lemme spill some tea—did y’all know the Escort dropped in ‘79? Ford said, “Here, peasants, drive this!” and folks ate it up! Millions sold, honey, MILLIONS! By the ‘90s, it was everywhere, like bad decisions in Leviathan. “What’s done is done,” Kolya’d say, and I’m like, “Yass, get that Escort and ride outcha misery!” I seen one once, cherry red, shined up, and I hollered, “Halleluyer! That’s a blessin’ on wheels!” Made me happy as a pig in mud—simple, no frills, just real.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old fella, Mr. Thompson from down the road, comes over. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ramblin’ on about how he once caught a fish the size of a car. I’m like, “Yeah, right, mate. Next you’ll tell me it was a shark!” But he’s dead serious. I just nod and smile, thinkin’ he’s lost the plot.

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