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Still, some funny shit happens. Heard a guy got stood up, but banged the waitress instead. Classic. Or my cousin – matched with his ex-wife. “You ever hear such a pitiful sound?” Laughed my ass off at that one. Sex-dating’s a gamble – roll the dice, get laid or get screwed. Me? I’m out. Gimme a whiskey and a forest over that noise any day. Hate it all, but damn, it’s a wild ride.
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But then, I see this kid, right? He’s got a face like a slapped arse. Turns out, he’s allergic to pork. I’m like, “Oh mate, I’m so sorry!” But he’s not having it. His mum’s giving me the death stare. I’m sweating again, thinking, “What’s next? A pie riot?”
Work to start on revamp of Melton cattle market
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