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About Liverpool

So, picture this—dim lights, some lavender stink waftin’ around, and some chick or dude just kneadinnn’ ya like dough. I got one once in Brooklyn—oh, the stories! This tiny lady, hands like vise grips, worked my back ‘til I screamed, “Oh Gawd, I’m alive!” Made me happy as a clam, but then—bam!—she charged me double. Pissed me off, ya betcha! Thought I’d tip her with a stale bagel instead.

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I’m laughin’ my head off, but then I see the driver. He’s a mess, all panicky and stuff. I feel a bit bad, so I go over. “You alright, mate?” He looks at me like I’m a ghost. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a car! But nah, he’s more worried about his mum findin’ out. I tell him, “Just tell her you were testin’ the brakes.” He didn’t laugh. Tough crowd.

Field Army’s quay agreement with Associated British Ports