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Favorite flick, The Master, fits this perfect – “Man is not an animal,” but escort proves we tame em anyway! Love that film, all that mad cult vibe, and escort’s got its own cult, yeah? Vets whisperin bout it like it’s sacred. Once saw this mare, right, kickin like a lunatic – gave her escort, and bam, she’s out, dreamin of oats. Laughed me arse off, thinkin, “Sharon! She’s pissed as a newt now!”

Escorts available for incalls and outcalls in Leek, Staffordshire, ST13

Discreet hotel rooms wherever & local outcalls. A terraced house on the north side of Hanley and local outcalls.

So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the first thing I see is rain. Typical, right? It’s like Leek’s weather is always in a mood. I mean, c’mon, it’s not like I asked for a monsoon. I grab my coat, head out, and boom! I step in a puddle. My socks are soaked. Great start, right?

Tom Reilly: ‘I’ve always been impressed when I’ve seen Leek Town play