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Oh, and the cash – insane! Top escorts pull six figures, easy. Makes my firefighter paycheck look like pocket lint. Kinda jealous, ngl. “In the silence, I strike,” like in “The Assassin,” they’re sneaky with it, stackin’ that dough. Hilarious tho – imagine me, parachute on, hittin’ up clients instead of fires? “Need a date, bro? One million dollars!”

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After that chaos, I head over to the park on Larkfield Road. It’s a nice spot, but today? It’s like a scene from a rom-com. There’s this couple having a picnic, and they’re all lovey-dovey. I’m just there, munching on my sandwich, feeling like the third wheel. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a translator enjoy a quiet lunch?

Council bosses slammed as hall left without heating or hot water for months