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Humor, I add. Ever tried explaining this to a Jedi Council? "Mmm, pleasure and healing, together?" They’d flip! "Do or do not, there is no try," I’d say. But seriously, folks, it’s legit. Makes me laugh, how some think it’s all about oil and candles. Pfft! More than that, it is.

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Then, outta nowhere, his mate, Tom, bursts in. He’s all hyped up, talking about the match last night. Apparently, Kiveton Park FC won! I’m like, “What?!” I didn’t even know they were playing. I’m so outta the loop. But that’s Kiveton for ya—always something happening, even if I’m clueless.

Display celebrating football manager Herbert Chapman unveiled to celebrate anniversary of 3G pitch at Kiveton school