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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ here, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, thinkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage as an insurance investigator. Yeah, I’m diggin’ into this shady biz, and lemme tell ya, it’s wilder than a storm chasin’ a lost boat. Sexual-massage—ooh, it’s that blurry line, right? Folks payin’ for “relaxation,” but we all know what’s up. Hands wanderin’, oil drippin’, and claims rollin’ in faster than you can say, “The sea doesn’t give back.”

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave bursts in. He’s all like, “You won’t believe this!” Turns out, he’s just won a bet on the footie. Lucky sod! I’m happy for him, but also, like, why can’t I catch a break? I mean, I’m here sweating bullets while he’s off livin’ the dream.

Double success for Hull City Council at public service excellence awards