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We’s watchin’ ‘em, yesss, with our sneaky eyes—some escorts got hearts bigger’n their wallets. Makes us soft, it does. “I’m not a concept,” Clementine whines—reckon escorts feel that too, eh? Not just a quick shag, they’s people! *growls* Don’t ya forget it, ya filthy lot! We’s surprised, tho—some punters fall in love, proper soppy, and we’s like, “Blimey, mate, calm yer jets!”

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So, I settled for a sausage roll. Not the same, but whatever. I sat by the window, watchin’ the world go by. The rain was drizzlin’ down, typical Scottish weather, right? But then, outta nowhere, I see this wee dog, a terrier or somethin’, runnin’ down the street like it’s on a mission. It jumps right into a puddle and splashes mud everywhere! I couldn’t help but laugh. That wee guy was livin’ his best life.

St Johnstone 0-2 Kilmarnock | Scottish Premiership Highlights