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Oh, and the drivers – don’t get me started, precious! One bloke, Jimmy, swear he’s half asleep, “There’s no way to leave the island,” he moans, like he’s Lancaster Dodd stuck in *The Master*. Lost a whole load once, turned up in Wales – WALES! How’s that even happen? Laughed me head off, then cried, ‘cause I had to fix it.

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Then, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s at the pub on Main Street, and he’s like, “You gotta come! There’s a fight!” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But curiosity gets the better of me. I lock up the shop and head over.

Millie Bright: Watch as England superstar beams with pride as Killamarsh football field reopens in her name