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Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred.” Escort, yeah? Cars or ladies, I’m guessin’ you mean the gig, right? So, escortin’—it’s a wild ride, innit? Been thinkin’ bout it since I saw *12 Years a Slave*. That flick gut-punched me, mate—“I will survive, I will not fall into despair!”—like, escortin’s got that vibe sometimes. You’re out there, fancy suit, smooth talk, but it’s a grind, yeah?

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Finally, I manage to get some work done. I’m feelin’ pretty good about it, too. But then, as I’m leavin’, I bump into Mrs. Thompson. You know her, right? The one who always has a million questions about the weather. She starts talkin’ my ear off about the forecast. I’m noddin’ along, but inside I’m like, “Please, I just wanna go home!”

Danny Glover double helps Chasetown to secure win at Kidsgrove Athletic