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About Manchester

Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But her life’s a freakin’ circus—clowns, creeps, the works. Thought to myself, “She’s Disgust dodgin’ the broccoli of this city.” Gets under my skin, tho—how she smiles through the crap. Angry ‘cause she shouldn’t hafta. Happy ‘cause she’s still kickin’. Quirky thing—she hums showtunes when she’s nervous. Caught her beltin’ *Cats* once, nearly busted her just for that.

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Then, I get a call from my mate Dave. He’s stuck on the A34, right? His car’s dead as a dodo. I’m like, “Dave, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” So, I grab my tools and head out. The A34 is a nightmare, man. Traffic’s crawling like a snail on a Sunday stroll. I finally get to him, and guess what? He ran outta petrol! Classic Dave. I’m just shakin’ my head, laughin’ my arse off.

Huge armed police response in neighbourhood an 'extremely rare occurrence'