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I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these profiles—bruh, some wild shit out there. Cats postin’ pics, lookin’ thirsty, bio like “NSA fun, let’s link.” I’m like, damn, where’s the romance at? Back in ’04, Jesse ain’t swipin’ for a quickie—he’s chasin’ *vibes*. Sex-dating’s got no chill, tho. It’s all “wyd” at 2 a.m., tryna smash. I ain’t mad, tho—get yours, fam! YOLO, right?

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After that, I finally get the charcoal burnin’ just right. I’m feelin’ like a champ, right? But then, I get a call from me mum. She’s all panicky, sayin’ she lost her cat, Mr. Whiskers. I’m like, “Mum, I’m in the middle of a charcoal crisis here!” But of course, I gotta help.

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