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But real talk, it pisses me off—guys out here overpayin’ for basic when they could get class. Like, why settle for some rando when you can find one with *flair*? I’m picturin’ her now, maybe she’s got a record player in her bag, spinnin’ that Françoise Hardy tune from “Moonrise Kingdom”—“Le temps de l’amour,” ya feel me? That’s the vibe I’m chasin’. None of this cheap-ass, “wham, bam” crap. I want her to look at me and say, “We’re on an adventure, pal,” like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off into the woods.

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Finally, I get my coffee. Sweet, sweet nectar! I take a sip, and it’s like angels are singing. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and Dave’s cracking up. I can’t even be mad.

Man found with injuries after ANOTHER stabbing in Bolton - the 2nd in less than a day