Stella Irlam Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️

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Sexual-massage – it’s old, mate, ancient-like. Them Romans had oily rubdowns, called ‘em “massagium” – fancy, eh? Bet they didn’t tell Caesar ‘bout the naughty bits! Me gets mad, yesss – them posh spas chargin’ 100 quid for a tease, outrageous! But happy too – some lass in Thailand told me once, “We fix soul, not just body,” and I felt that, precious, deep in me gnarly bones. Surprised? Oh yesss – heard a bloke got arrested mid-rub, pants down, copper says, “You’re nicked!” – hilarious, innit?

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, this dog jumps in! Like, what? Who brings a dog to the pool? It’s all barkin’ and splashing, and I’m like, “This is not a doggy daycare!” I had to get the owner to fish it out.

Irlam FC complete ‘giant killing’ as they advance to the semi-final