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About Liverpool

Oi mate, gather round, lemme waffle—erotic-massage, eh? Bit of a saucy topic, makes me chuckle, cor blimey! Used to think it’s all dodgy, illicit stuff—y’know, nudge-nudge, wink-wink—but nah, there’s more to it, honest! Been digging into this, like a proper Boris snoop, and blimey, it’s got history—ancient, like! Romans, Greeks, all them lot, loved a rub-down—called it *unctio*, fancy Latin for oily hands sliding about. Makes me wanna bellow *carpe diem*—seize the day, seize the massage table!

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your performance.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Oh great, just what I need.” I’m sitting there, trying to keep my cool, but inside I’m like a volcano ready to erupt. I mean, I’m doing my best here!

Inverkeithing streetscape project takes shape