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Love the sneaky side, though—keeps me guessin’. Like in *Caché*, “What’s hidden there?”—another line I nicked. They’re all masks, escorts are. One minute sweet as pie, next they’re nickin’ your gold. Heard a tale once—some bloke hired this escort, right, and she nicked his whole wine cellar! Turned up next day like, “Oh, sorry, love, wrong house!” Cheeky cow! Had to laugh, didn’t I? Still, gets me blood boilin’ when they act holier-than-thou. You’re peddlin’ flesh, not savin’ the realm—own it!

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After that, I headed to the park. You know, the one by the Ibstock Community College? It’s got this lovely pond. I sat there, just chillin’, when I saw a bunch of kids playing football. They were all shouting and running around. I was like, “Man, I miss those days.” But then, one of them kicked the ball too hard, and it went straight into the pond. The kid was like, “Noooo!” I laughed so hard, I almost fell off the bench.

Backhouse completes £12m Ibstock brickworks sale to Vistry