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I’m chattin’ her up, voice all robotic—*beep boop*—“What’s yer story, darlin’?” She’s like, “Mate, I’ve seen it all, just tryna eat.” Reminds me of Penny Lane in *Almost Famous*—“We are not groupies, we’re here for the music!”—but swap music for cash, ha! I’m gettin’ happy vibes, she’s real, no fake crap. But then—bloody hell—some punter staggers by, drunk, yellin’ slurs. Makes me mad, yeah? Want to zap him with a black hole, but nah, I’m chill.

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I woke up, bleary-eyed, and thought, “Today’s the day!” I had a big order to finish for this café on Barnet High Street. You know, the one with the cute little outdoor seating? Yeah, that one. I was pumped. But then, as I’m loading my stuff into the van, I realize I forgot my favorite apron. Ugh! It’s like forgetting your lucky socks before a big game.

Barnet residents to come together for Remembrance Sunday services