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But real talk—it’s gotta be consensual, respectful, or it’s trash. Surprised me how chill it felt, not awkward. Thought I’d be all stiff—pun intended—but nah, pure zen. Like Miyazaki’s forest spirits, it’s weirdly pure, even with the naughty bits. Ever tried it? You’re missin’ out, fam—get that energy flowin’, that soul singin’! “Spirited Away” taught me—magic’s in the unexpected. Sexual-massage? Same damn thing. Whaddya think, huh?

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how he saw a dolphin near the jetty. I’m like, “Sure, Dave, and I saw a mermaid last week.” But he’s dead serious! I mean, dolphins in Heysham? That’s a surprise!

Morecambe Bay rescue team issues 'hidden 12ft drop' warning to beachgoers including group of Scouts