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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no fancy nonsense. Picture this, ok? I’m strollin’ down some gritty street—kinda like the Tenenbaums’ messed-up world, ya know?—and I’m thinkin’, “Royal’d probably hire a hooker just to spite Margot!” Ha! That’s the vibe. Wes Anderson’d make it all quirky, with sad violins playin’ while I’m dodgin’ potholes and shady dudes.

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So, I’m walking down the High Street, just minding my own biz, when I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a bunch of kids playing footy in the street. I mean, c’mon, it’s a busy road! But they’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They just get it.

New Aldi in Hetton-le-Hole opens its doors to customers and there were bargains to be had