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Little secret, I spill—Victorian era, escorts had coded ads in newspapers! “French lessons,” they called it—sneaky, sneaky. Laugh, I did, picturing prim ladies winking at dudes. Oh, and “The Social Network” vibes—escort’s a startup, chaotic, u build or u crash. “A million dollars isn’t cool,” Zuckerberg snarls—billion-dollar escort rings tho? Cool, they are, darkside style.

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Now, this is where it gets wild. I’m checkin’ out some local produce, and I spot this stall selling homemade jams. I’m a sucker for jam, so I’m all in. I start chatting with the vendor, and she’s super nice. But then, she tells me about this “secret” jam recipe. I’m like, “C’mon, spill the beans!” But she just winks and says it’s a family secret. Ugh, so frustrating!

MP urges Government to play ball and end contract disparity for non-league footballers