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About Liverpool

Real talk, sex-dating’s a trip. Hooked up with this chick once, she’s quoting *The Act of Killing* mid-date—“I’m not responsible, ha!”—and I’m like, what?! Blew my mind. That docu’s my jam, all about facing dark shit, and here I am, balls deep in absurdity. She’s wild, kept sayin’ “Gangsters don’t cry!” while we’re fuckin’. I’m dying laughin’, bro, straight-up surreal.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a dog stuck in a tree. A bloody dog! I can’t even. I’m picturing this little pup, all confused, like, “How did I end up here?” So, I send the fire brigade. They’re probably thinking, “What’s next? A cat in a chimney?”

Monopoly's Whitstable and Herne Bay Edition launches