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Humor time—sex-dating is like orderin’ pizza. You see da menu, pick what ya want, but sometimes ya get pineapple on it. Gross! Or, like, dat movie line, “You need to run, Lil’ Zé!” but it’s me runnin’ from bad dates. Exaggeratin’ here, but seriously, some dates are disasters.

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While I’m waitin’ it out, I see this old lady. She’s got a shopping bag, and it’s burstin’ at the seams. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you might wanna lighten that load.” But she’s all smiles, bless her heart. She starts chatin’ me up about the best places to get haggis in town. I’m like, “I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet.” But she insists, and honestly, her enthusiasm is kinda contagious.

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