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I dig it, fam—makes me happy as hell. Relaxes the soul, gets the blood pumpin’. Little known fact? Ancient Greeks were freaky with it—called it “anatripsis.” Rubbin’ down warriors post-battle, keepin’ ‘em loose! Imagine that, all oiled up, no homo, just vibes. Shit’s primal, yo—gets me hyped! But damn, some shady parlors piss me off—fake “happy endings,” overpriced crap. Like, c’mon, don’t tease The Rock!

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Then, I spot this old lady on the bench. She’s got this massive hat, like something outta a royal wedding. I’m thinkin’, “What’s the deal with that?” Turns out, she’s a local legend. Says she’s been comin’ to these gardens for over 50 years. I’m like, “Wow, that’s dedication!” She starts tellin’ me about the time she saw a peacock strut its stuff right by the bandstand. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my trowel.

Tickets on sale now for 'much-loved Dales' event which sticks to traditional ways